I Hate Everything About You
by Aisling-Siobhan
Summary: COMPLETE! one shot. One man in denial... Another man doomed... Will they realise the truth befre it's too late? HS Character Death! MM


"**I Hate Everything About You**"

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter, et all does not belong to me. The song is by **Three Days Grace**! H/S

**Words:** 1,666

_XXX_

_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet_

Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make  
All the feelings that I get  
But I still don't miss you yet

I cry out as you touch me, your beautiful warm, wet mouth engulfs my rigid flesh and you suck me. Just the way I like it, the way you know I like it, you press your tongue to the base and lick up once, you kiss the head you graze your teeth gently making me gasp and cry for more. Your hand wraps around the base and slides down to fondle my balls lovingly, but I don't love you.

I've never loved you, even as we fuck, shag, whatever you call it, even as we do that I hate you. I only love how you make me feel. I know you're no different, I mean why would you love me? I'm a snarky git, who's tried his hardest to get you expelled or in detention basically to make you're life hell. Why love me? I just don't understand.

I gasp again, and arch beneath you. I cry your name as I come, and you swallow me down greedily. Every last drop, your tongue comes out to lick a bit off your lips and I groan, already hard again. I grab your hips, my fingers digging into to your delicate flesh, I'm sure it will leave a bruise yet I grip harder anyway, marking you, hurting you, and I flip you onto your back and come to lay on top of you.

My hand slides down between us and I stroke your cock softly, then your balls, and then I worm my finger inside of your, passed that tight ring of muscle that clenches my digit as I add another. Stretching you I begin to scissor them, while adding a third. You gasp and pant and beg me.

_Only when I stop to think about it_

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you

"Severus more… gods… Sev!" You cry out as I brush your prostate and without muttering a lubrication spell I pull my fingers out and replace them with my dick.

I fuck you hard, and fast and brutal. Bruising you, making you bleed, just like any other time and yet you still come back to me, why is that Harry? My hips slam into yours, my cock up your arse, filling you and making you scream in pleasure and then pain as I draw more blood with my violent thrusts.

I bite into the side of your neck and you scream and come. When I come, I pull out, and roll off you. I lie panting, on my side, as I watch you collapse. Like all the other times, you lay there, your arse and legs caked in blood and semen and I feel nothing about it. If you wanted it to stop, you'd stop me, so I feel no guilt. We pant harshly, and as you try to control your heartbeat I gather my clothes and after muttering a Cleaning Charm I dress myself, my eyes never leaving your bloodied arse.

You get up when I shake your shoulder, I feared you fell asleep for a moment, and that wouldn't do. To wake up in my bed would give you the wrong idea. So I shake you, and you gasp in pain, my hand slides down your back and into your arse again. As I touch you, I know I'm hurting you and you cry out, wide awake and try to squirm away from me. I finally stop and glare at you.

_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet_

Only when I stop to think about it

"Get dressed, and get out." I sneer and turn my back on him. I sit at my desk and begin to grade the potions essays from your last class. He stands and like always, obeys me. Forgetting to clean himself, he dresses, bloody and battered and heads for his common room, his friends and his own bed, without me.

The night before the battle was me at my worst. By the end of it, I feared you'd be unable to move, let alone fight You-Know-Who! You winced in pain when you tried to stand, and against everything my hearts desired, I let you. I let you stand, barely able to without swaying, I let you dress, your face marred by pain as you pulled on your pants and I let you leave me.

I let you walk out of the door, knowing deep down that it was the last time I'd see you, that I could hold you and kiss you, and make love to you. Even our first time was violent, not purposely so but it was none the less. Sometimes I think I should have been gentler with you, but you didn't tell me you were innocent. But that isn't the point, is it? I should have been gentle anyway, but I hated you.

"I love you, Severus," you whisper as the door closes behind you and I blink.

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you_

Only when I stop to think  
About you, I know  
Only when you stop to think  
About me, do you know

Angry now, I conjure a glass just to throw it at the door before I sunk back into the pillows, scowling. You weren't meant to love me! Why would you want to love me? I'm snarky and cruel, I hurt you when you don't deserve it and I hurt you more when you do! I can't say I'm good looking, I know for a fact that I'm not. My hair is greasy and my hands are potions stained, and I hate you.

That feeling, the one I tried so hard to ignore, that feeling was right. As we left the next morning for the final battle, for the deciding match, I didn't see you. You weren't leaving till later, Dumbledore's way of keeping you alive till You-Know-Who gets there himself. I wanted to say goodbye, but I didn't. If I didn't I could pretend that neither of us would be hurt, and if I did and I lost you at least I had that closure. When I got to the battle, at Riddle Manor, the home of Tom Sr., (who would have thought it?), the fight started at once.

You must have been telepathically linked; maybe you were, the moment he arrived, you were there a second later. In your left hand, you held your wand loosely, and in your right you swung the Sword of Gryffindor by your side. You sword, my foolish Gryffindor! He didn't see you, he went for Miss Weasly, and I admit I was jealous. I saw the look on your face and I wondered if you would look that way if I should fall?

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
You hate everything about me  
Why do you love me_

You ran straight at him, your sword raised, he saw you and raised his own sword. When his blade hit you, I think my heart stopped instead of yours. You dropped back, Gryffindor's Sword piercing his black heart; he was dead before you hit the ground. I saw your chest rise and fall and forgetting the battle and the Death Eaters I ran towards you and gathered you into my arms. No one but Dumbledore knew of us, so it was correct to say that no one could understand why I was comforting The-Boy-Who-Was-Dying! Even the Death Eaters stopped to watch.

You looked up at me and smiled, "I love you," you whispered again. I closed my eyes, letting the tears run down my face and onto your cheeks. I brush them off of you gently and press a kiss to your forehead. Behind me, I notice Lucius Malfoy, his shadow falling over us, bathing your face in darkness. He places a hand on my shoulder, my only friend, and squeezes gently.

"I'm sorry Severus," he quietly utters, and I can tell he means it.

"What for?" I ask dazed. He sighs and looks down at you, and I know what he's thinking. I shake my head in denial; his hand stays on my shoulder.

_I hate  
You hate  
I hate  
You love me_

I hate you. You're spoilt and you're foolish, impertinent and childish. You're loyal and kind, brave and strong, you love me when no one ever did, and you fought a war you didn't believe in to keep wizards and muggles you didn't know safe. Lucius squeezes my shoulder one more time before removing his hand to make way for Albus, my mentor, my father.

"I'm so sorry, my boy!" And it hits me, you stupid boy, you went and did the impossible. I open my mouth to tell you the truth, to tell you what you've been waiting to hear but your eyes are closed. Your chest no longer moving and the blood has dried on your skin.

"I love you too, Harry," I choke as more tears land on your face, but you don't move. I don't look up, my eyes stay fixed on you, but somehow I know we won. Your death shocked so many Death Eaters for long enough to stun them. Lupin takes hold of Lucius and pulls him away from me. I want to stop them but I don't let go of you, I don't want to!

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you_

I love you Harry James Potter… but I can't understand how you could ever love me!

**The End**


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